Saturday, January 26, 2008

Change

Over the years I have rarely finished many of the projects that I have started. It's hard to work on things and be on call 24/7. A lot of -take me here- I have lessons- I need you to pick up- I need you to bring- I need you to help me with- project is due tomorrow can you go to the store- I need to tell you- volunteer for this/that- what are you working on- why are you doing that- etc. I do a lot of reading but that is easy to put down and deal with whatever the situation is.

In the past month or so I realize that is no longer the case for much of my time. I am finishing up the school volunteer work. S2 called and got his own teacher for the guitar lessons that he wanted. He drives himself. S1 is calling his girlfriend instead of me.

I like it (she says in a guilty sort of way). People, including husband, are much more self sufficient.

Old habits die hard though. I find myself every ready in case someone needs something. Eventually I will learn not to be jumpy. Eventually I will not feel guilty for not being everready even though there is nothing to be everready for. The more I focus on finishing things and myself the calmer I will be AND the more productive.

Am starting a valentine print apron this weekend. My goal is to finish by Valentines day and maybe make some cookies while I wear it. Hmmm. Might be pushing the envelope. . .

2 comments:

east village idiot said...

Please tell me that my future will hold similar moments!

jar said...

I hope so. Hopefully without the guilt :-)